Why I wear my Tallis Wrong

I swear. I get this question all the time. 

“Rafi, don’t you know that you are wearing your Tallis wrong?” 

Well, the answer to this is, yes. I wear my tallis wrong, on purpose. For illustration, I wear the atarah (1), facing inwards rather than outward. The atarah was initially added as a hiddur mitzvah (2) and as guide for proper tallis orientation. I still wear my atarah at the top, but instead of displaying it outwards, I keep it inwards. Why?

It started as a mistake. I began wearing tallis and t’fillin during the pandemic and it wasn’t an easy mitzvah to take on. Because of my sensory needs, wearing them outside in the heat and later the cold was challenging. Also, my difficulty with fine motor skills also made putting them on very difficult. It became a slow, but gradual process, one that I worked through with my school rabbi. The focus was on the t’fillin, so somewhere along the way, the process for the tallis was oversimplified and I started making this mistake.

But even after numerous corrections I’ve continued to wear it this way. It has become an endearing, unique and meaningful personal practice that has enhanced the mitzvah for me. 

First, it reflects my understanding of hiddur mitzvah. Wearing the atarah outwards is beautiful. But, it can also be beautiful inwards. I am a firm believer that beauty can be found in ourselves. This reminds me that I am created B’Tzelem Elohim, endowed with the holy image of G-D, responsible for sanctifying G-D’s name through my t’fillah and mitzvot. 

My justifications don’t stop there. I also wear the tallis “incorrectly” as a reminder of my uniqueness. Being disabled, I don’t fit the typical mold. I don’t go to farbrengens. I don’t stand still during the Amidah. And I can’t keep up with all the social intricacies at kiddush. But I know my Jewish experience is special and meaningful. Wearing my tallis differently reminds me that I can engage in every mitzvah in my own way.

I encourage everyone to examine their own Jewish practices. How can you make them more meaningful for you? My overall tallis experience hasn’t changed; but I’ve found a way to make it my own, elevating the mitzvah to an awesome level. 

So, just saying: sometimes you’ve got to do something “wrong” to do it right.

 Wearing my tallis “wrong” has meant I now wear it for all the right reasons.

Footnotes

1. Atarah is the decorative “crown” or extra padding on the top of the tallis.

2. Hiddur Mitzvah is a beautification of a mitzvah. A classic example of this is a decorative challah cover, beautifying the mitzvah of blessing the challah.