Transitioning to College Pt. 1

Well, I’ve come full circle. Four years after my first blog about transitioning to High School, it’s time to talk about the next big transition: college! Over the past few months, I’ve been working hard to adapt to an entirely new environment. This is unlike any challenge I’ve faced before. The support systems are completely different. I don’t go home at the end of the day. And this is the first taste of adulthood, where I need to balance my own needs and responsibilities while learning to be independent!

First off, there was the unseen transition. The drivers behind this were my mom and the structure of my senior year. Over the past year, I was gradually given greater independence. 

First, I chose which classes I wanted to take. Then, I became responsible for getting myself to school. I switched from taking the bus to driving my car, which was liberating. This allowed me to decide when to stay at school. If I had a sensory overload I had the freedom to leave - but I had to think carefully of when and how often to do this. 

Then came my trip to Israel. Every day brought unforeseen challenges that I had to navigate quickly. I also lived somewhat independently for the first time. I’m glad, for example, that I learned how to do laundry. It would have been a pain to learn that at college. Towards the end of the trip, surrounded by my closest High School friends, I decided what I wanted my college experience to be. I chose Binghamton. 

My internship prepared me for crafting my own routine. My supervisor, Rabbi Scheff, cut me loose. He entrusted me with important projects and I was responsible for getting them done. I learned to balance work, life and extracurriculars without  the rigid structure I relied upon during the rest of High School. None of these steps fully prepared me for college. I’ve learned a lot since I got to Binghamton, but practicing beforehand was very helpful. 

The transition really hit me at orientation. It was only one night, but it was overwhelming. I had to choose which sessions were necessary. I had to tackle not sleeping in my own room - it was eighty degrees! That certainly made me think of how I wanted my room to be like. And I had to make decisions about my college classes. All of this led me into a spiral that lasted the rest of my summer. 

When I got back to Ramah, stress about transitioning to college loomed large in the background. This resulted in frequent panic attacks, sensory overloads and general fatigue. I decided to switch jobs and ended my summer earlier than I expected (read more about my summer in this blog). These were the right choices. The stress of college was already affecting my summer, and I needed to slow down. In my mind, the worst was still ahead. So I set aside time to relax. I ate my favorite foods, swam, spent time with my dogs (which was never enough) and set aside family time. And then the dreaded move-in day arrived.

And yet, I was wrong. It’s surprising that the time I had the least responsibility, the summer, was the most stressful. I think that when your challenges are right in front of you, they don’t seem as daunting. But, from far away, they feel overwhelmed. 

When I finally moved in, while I was a little worked up, it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought. It was actually one of the best days of the summer. I had an amazing lunch at a café in Downtown Binghamton. Then, I got to set up my room. My mom insisted on doing most of the work; but when I put up family photos and my mezuzah I felt at home. Having a single room accommodation has been life-changing. Knowing, if I am ever overwhelmed or just need space, I have a space to retreat to has made a gigantic difference. And, to my surprise, I fell asleep quickly that night. 

What happened next? Stay tuned for Part Two, where I go over my first weeks of college.